Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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