Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He shit in the fireplace
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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