Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
