Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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