Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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