Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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