are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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