Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
