I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
