No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
