Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
