I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
