Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
