She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
