It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Screwed.edu
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
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he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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