hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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