So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize
