I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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