Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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