ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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