yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
