You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
