wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
