Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
