i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
