You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
