I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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