I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
