Only a mothe r could love this liver
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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