just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Nicole vs. Life
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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