Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
don't judge my taste in strippers
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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