i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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