"it" just moved
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
