Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
