Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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