Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
