So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
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I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
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And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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