Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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