He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
