sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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