Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
