I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
This is the prime rib incident all over again
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize