I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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