Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
