i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
