wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize