i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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