It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
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A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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