that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
