Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
