also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
