Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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