Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
