People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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