As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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