He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize