I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
