Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
