I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
