Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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