I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
